Thriving with ADHD’s 5 C’s

 

Thriving with ADHD’s 5 C’s is a framework parents can use to assist them create and maintain a healthy relationship with their child with ADHD. This is vital as when a child feels heard, valued, understood and appreciated they are more likely to act in a manner that meets parental and societal expectations in order to protect the relationship they have with their loved ones. They are also more likely to be receptive to redirection and education and support interventions, as well as open to gaining the awareness and understanding they require to develop in a healthy manner and one day manage their ADHD symptoms independently.

 

The 5 C’s are as follows:

Connection – focus on your relationship with your child first; spend one-on-one time with them; make them feel safe and valued; have fun together; give them your full attention; let them know you love them; focus on the positive; show respect and appreciation; honour their boundaries; keep them company during tasks that tax their executive function; support them to cope with their emotions.

Composure – be patient with your child; manage your own emotions; breath before responding; remind yourself that challenging behaviour is often due to lagging skills not disobedience; give directions in a calm, matter of fact manner; describe don’t judge; be a good role model.

Compassion – give your child your full attention and listen with empathy; aim to understand their point of view; listen to not only what they are saying but how they are saying it (as well as what they are not saying); acknowledge and validate; reserve judgement. Note: you can listen and understand without condoning behaviour.

Collaboration – provide the scaffolding that will ensure your child’s success; access the teachable moments that open up when the first 3 C’s are in place; use the coach approach; foster their strengths; identify lagging skills and put in place strategies to help them learn these skills; use diplomacy; give them a choice; involve them in any rule setting or decision making; explore options for resolving problems together; ask them what they think would help them; encourage problem solving; stay open to possibilities; provide motivating praise which qualifies the behaviour you are acknowledging and provide rewards as required. Remember the aim is to gradually reduce the need for externally imposed discipline by fostering internally imposed discipline or self-regulation..

Consistency – set and reflect rules and expectations; make clear requests of your child and keep your word; make sure they understand all the steps required to complete a task successfully; support them to achieve their goals; be flexible in your approach; promote responsibility; focus on outcomes; praise and reward positive behaviour; set clear and fair consequences for negative behaviour and act swiftly should you need to.

 

Kids desire to feel loved and appreciated for who they are, and to feel safe and valued. When this need is met, it fosters the motivation required to want to behave in a way that pleases their parents in order to protect their bonded relationship.