Why I Choose To Give My Son With ADHD Stimulant Medication
I have been questioned so many times by well-meaning individuals as to why I would choose to give stimulant medication to my son Jack who has ADHD.
Am I not concerned about the side effects?
Does it turn him into a zombie?
This is my response.
Thank you for your concern, but you need not worry.
I have chosen to proactively treat Jack’s ADHD symptoms with medication (in conjunction with other interventions), because medication alone enables him to remember who he is and what is important to him, to be fully present with others, to achieve his goals and to be his best self.
Without medication Jack cannot sit still, focus, follow instructions, complete tasks, manage his physical self or regulate his words and emotions. This in turn, affects his ability to learn, to achieve, to follow social etiquette and to maintain friendships. And sadly as a result, I cannot reach him, his peers reject him, and he becomes very negative and starts berating (and sometimes hitting) himself, which is devastating to watch.
However, when he takes stimulant medication everything changes. He literally transforms in front of our eyes into this super awesome, happy kid. He can understand and assimilate information, problem solve, meet the expectations placed upon him and achieve his personal goals. He is also able to pick up on non-verbal social cues and use social thinking knowledge and skills to navigate social situations effectively, as well as maintain close friendships.
And most importantly, as he is caring, intelligent, creative and very funny, we get to enjoy his wonderfully personality and see his beaming smile each day. Whilst he gets to feel good about himself and positive about his future.
Oh, and incase you are wondering:
No, behaviour therapy does not work when Jack is unmedicated. However when he is medicated it is rarely needed.
No, stimulant medication does not increase the risk of drug use later in life. Infact, studies show it may actually be protective. However, living with untreated ADHD does increase the risk of drug and alcohol addiction. It also increases the risk of academic failure, social isolation, car accidents, financial difficulties, criminality, depression, anxiety and suicide.
Yes, Jack’s treatment also includes us positively parenting him from an ADHD perspective; interventions to support his lagging self-regulation and organisational skills; social thinking, social skills, emotional regulation and executive function coaching by myself and his mental health OT; and supportive classroom interventions.
Yes, Jack wants to take his medication because he hates not being able to control himself, as well as the consequences that result when he is unable to.
And yes, medication is no cure. Jack continues to struggle before he takes his medication and after it wears off each and every day. To manage during this challenging time we reduce our expectations of him, and do the best we can to support him and ourselves with compassion and understanding.
Related Blog post: Why the stigma and misinformation around ADHD & stimulant medications needs to stop
Thank you for writing this. I also medicate my 6yo ADHD son, and in not-so-eloquent words, this is how I explain our decision to others. You nailed it!
Thanks Kristie. I’m really glad it has resonated with so many people. All the best x
Lou- I know I don’t have to tell you this by I am gonna- You are absolutely doing everything in your power to give your son the best possible foundation for life from my point of view. Great share!
Thanks Kate. Yes I believe I am too. We all are xxx
Just picked up a script for a stimulant for my son who is almost 6. Husband and I are both therapists, but I’ve been in denial for a couple years that we would end up going down this route. Extremely nervous about how it will go but so hopeful it will help.
Hi Amanda. Thanks for sharing. I can understand your nerves. No parent would medicate their child if they felt there was a better option. Medication has been a god send to us. I hope you have the same positive experience we have had. x
Hi Lou
I am a mother of 3 adopted sons who are 29, 23 and 20. At different stages of adolescence all 3 boys were diagnosed with ADHD. Over the years we have had many trials and tribulations but my husband and I have always been loving, positive, encouraging and supportive. And in return we have very loving sons. I am a primary school educator but was in denial for each of the boys about their condition ensuring that we explicitly taught social skills and strategies to be effective social beings. They all have tried medication with varying success. Encouraging them to be independent they made their own decisions to not persist with medication. Our oldest boy has been successful in his work and gone back to taking medication only recently. It is our middle boy who has been the most troubled and we’ve now decided to not watch him suffer anymore. He is very intelligent and won a position at Perth Modern School when he was 14. We live in the country so this meant he left home and became a boarder. That was devastating!! He cannot hold down a job, is a bit of a social isolate, is hopeless with money, has owned 6 cars in 6 years, has been in trouble with the police, has had many traffic infringements with subsequent fines that just build up. He is always remorseful and so apologetic. He was desperate to be independent and not disappoint us but we can’t stand by and watch our beautiful boy destroy himself. He so wants to please us so is now wanting our help. Over Christmas it has given us the opportunity to talk seriously. We will be making an appointment to see our family GP who now lives in Perth unfortunately. I had never heard of an ADHD coach until reading Desiree Silva and Michele Toner’s book. I found you on the Internet and am writing to you for advice. I would love our boy to see you but he also needs a psych. We do trust our GP and he ‘gets’ our boys but I was just curious to know whether you recommend a psych. How do we make an appointment to see you? How long is the waiting time to see you? Should he be on medication before he sees you? We are now feeling some urgency as yesterday he talked about suicide and we need to take this seriously. Hopefully you can give us some advice and recommendations. With sincere appreciation Cheryl Darcey
Hi Cheryl
Thank you for your message. Sorry for the late reply but I have been away on a cruise and there was poor internet access.
I thought I would share with you that along with having ADHD, I am also adopted. And there was once a time in my life that I felt like your middle boy does, so I do understand how he must be feeling.
If your son is still suicidal please consider taking him back to see his psychiatrist asap.
In regard to counselling/therapy and coaching, they have different benefits so your choice is best determine by what your son feels he really needs. (Psychologists help individuals to process their feelings and deal with the past, whilst coaches help individuals to move forward and take control of their life). I know a very good psychologist who really understands ADHD if he feels this is the best option for him.
Hopefully I will chat to you soon.
Lou