My Supercharged ADHD Race Car Brain

 

Inspired by the original race car brain with bicycle breaks metaphor by Dr Ned Hallowell.

 

Like many individuals with ADHD, I was born with a supercharged, race car brain.

You see, my awesome brain naturally:

• Is as quick as lightening.
• Has one speed – full throttle.
• Is fueled by interest (and its companion dopamine).
• Doesn’t need me or my heart to navigate.
• Loves having fun and being independent of restrictions or directions.
• Is creative, adventurous, interesting and engaging.
• Accelerates at processing information and understanding concepts.
• Is great at problem solving and enjoys thinking outside the box.
• Will hyperfocus and break records when it’s fuel supply is in abundance.

However, my race car brain also has some downsides.

It came without an instruction manual. It also has poor electronic wiring and malfunctioning bicycle brakes.

As a result, it can:

• Lose connection with my heart.
• Stall when instructions or expectations come without a supply of interest.
• Get frustrated easily (and emotionally meltdown) when its fuel supply is threatened or cut off.
• Speed off without thinking through the consequences or planning ahead.
• Be single minded, inflexible and not see the big picture.
• Fail to notice any warning signs.
• Forget to make pit stops or book in for a full service.
• Overheat and come to a grinding stop, without warning.

This means my brain often finds itself in accidents. And these collisions can have heartbreaking outcomes.

Yep, when I don’t (or can’t) actively take charge of the steering wheel, or when I don’t take my medication, my heart and I have little control over my brain. It just keeps on blindly racing along without me.

And sadly, I find myself:

• Breaking social rules, crossing boundaries and failing to meet the expectations set by myself and others.
• Believing I am making decisions or acting from a well-informed place only to find out later that I have missed half the vital information or not understood another person’s perspective.
• Either procrastinating to avoid boring or tedious tasks, or distracted by something so much more interesting that I forget what I was meant to be doing.
• Feeling disappointed over and over again for failing to achieve my goals or to honour what is in my heart.
• Being criticised as if I am intentionally rude and don’t care about other people (when I absolutely do), or purposefully lazy and selfish.

I feel so heartbroken, disappointed, misunderstood and ashamed when this happens, which stops me dead in my tracks.

It really hurts when your intentions are misconstrued or when you fail even though you are trying to do your best.

Thankfully over the years I have learned to only let these painful feelings derail me for a short while.

That instead of staying stuck off road, I can:

• Restart my engine by giving myself a buff and polish, and by showing myself kindness and compassion. 
• Make amends by apologising to others and by forgiving myself for my mistakes.
• Actively service my motor with healthy food, exercise and sleep.
• Reconnect my brain with my heart by embracing my strengths and reaffirming what is important to me.
• Reach out to those who love and accept me no matter what.

I can also continue learning about my unique race car brain so I can gain greater insight into how it operates. And I can develop and put into place strategies that improve its electronic wiring and strengthen its brakes, with the hope of improving its all-round (heart connected) performance in the future.

For I refuse to let these challenges beat me, no matter how hard I crash and burn.