You Are Not Alone: Adults with ADHD Share Their Stories

 

On the 10th July at 7.30pm in Australia, as part of show The Feed, SBS Viceland will be airing a short documentary called Adult ADHD: Over Diagnosed or Under Diagnosed.

My family and I bravely welcomed Simon Cunich, the director, into our home and allowed him to interview us for the documentary. We hope by sharing our story with openness and honesty, others with ADHD will know they are not alone. And that the documentary as a whole will contribute towards increasing community awareness and understanding around the disorder. 

To coincide with the documentary being released, I asked a group of adults who were also diagnosed with ADHD later in life, if they would like to share their stories in the hope of letting others know they are not alone, as well as to provide inspiration by sharing the effect the right diagnosis and treatment has had on their lives. I was taken back by how many individuals put their hand up, all eager for their voices to be heard.

A BIG thank you to them all. 

 

 

My journey started with a phone call from my best friend who told me her son, who I was close with, had been diagnosed with ADHD. As we cried and talked about what his diagnosis meant, I promised to support them both in anyway I could.

As my friend learned more about ADHD, I began to suspect my own struggle to thrive may have been due to a deeper cause. That maybe I wasn’t just lazy, crazy and stupid. 

I knew I was smart but I couldn’t sustain my focus or interest in anything long enough to succeed. Throughout my education my grades did not reflect my capabilities. Full-time jobs always felt suffocating which lead to depression. Responsibility felt overwhelming and lead to anxiety. And I was ruled by my emotions. When everything was great the world was sunshine and lollipops, but in a blink of an eye, the slightest upset would see me spiral into explosive anger and self hate. 

The day I was diagnosed with ADHD was the day I began to rebuild my self-worth and believe in my potential. 

Two years after I was diagnosed, I wanted to see what school could have been like for me had I been diagnosed in childhood and I wanted to confirm to myself that I wasn’t stupid, so I enrolled in an education program equivalent to completing year 12 at high school. It was a proud time for my parents, my family and me as I managed my time, work load, assessments and mental health to successfully complete the course. Now I am set to live my dream when I graduate with a Bachelor of Environmental Science in 2021. 

Medication has helped me turn my life around but it hasn’t cured my condition. At night when my medication wears off all my symptoms reappear. I still get overwhelmed by loud chaotic environments. I still miss the point of questions, put far too much unnecessary detail in my stories, forget what I was saying, and get depression and anxiety. And despite the belief that medication enables students with ADHD to write an assignment over one weekend, it still takes me 2 weeks minimum to write a 2000 word assignment.

What my diagnosis has changed for me is my self-worth and my self-esteem which has lead to a mental healthier, more stable and equally able life.

~ Ren, 38.

 

I was diagnosed with ADHD at 28. I’d been struggling at work to grasp new procedures, so after seeing the symptoms mentioned on TV I went to my GP to get a referral. He stated there is no such thing as ADHD so I had to push him for the referral. He googled a psychiatrist for me and I went along with my school reports and partner.

With my diagnosis came an enormous sense of relief. I’d struggled my whole life with things no one else seemed to struggle with. I’d been labelled as lazy and had started to believe it myself. However, I also felt sad that I hadn’t been diagnosed earlier as maybe my life wouldn’t have been so hard. Maybe I’d have achieved more?

The diagnosis also changed the way I looked at my shortcomings and really made me appreciate my gifts. I started to be kind to myself and felt really motivated to work on the areas I’d been lacking for so long because I finally had the right support. 

My psychiatrist referred me to a support group run by a psychologist, and in a follow-up appointment I decided to try medication. It helps me to set goals, focus, problem solve and stay on track so I can completed tasks successfully. It also helps me to be more productive, make fewer mistakes and ignore the squirrels in the room. However, I only take it when I need to focus because I don’t like the side effects.

~ Jo, 35.

 

I was diagnosed with ADHD at 43, after my 16 year old daughter was diagnosed. Being diagnosed was such a relief as I had spent the 6 months prior (while waiting for my psychiatrist appointment) alternating between believing I did and didn’t have ADHD. 

After speaking to my psychiatrist, I decided to try Ritalin and I’m still in the process of working out the best dose and timing for me. It’s a balance between getting the dose that works right and mitigating the side effects. 

Since starting Ritalin, however, life feels so much easier. For example, I used to:

• Feel like I was watching an old TV with lots of static. I could still see the picture and kind of hear what was being said, but it took real effort/concentration to work
  through all that noise. Now it’s like the picture is finely tuned, and I can just hear and see it properly without so much effort.
• Procrastinate at work a lot. “Getting started” was a really big hurdle for me. I didn’t know where to start complex tasks. I also struggled to prioritise the tasks I was given. I felt like I had a whirlwind of thoughts in my mind, and concentrating for long periods of time left me feeling completely drained emotionally and mentally. By the time I got home I couldn’t remember what I had planned for the evening and I didn’t have any energy to do anything. I was a total couch potato. Since starting the Ritalin however, I am able to think things through and take action. I can sit down at my desk and just start my work. I’m a lot more capable, and I’m not so exhausted at the end of the day.
• Struggled with anxiety (stomach issues, heart racing, “thumping” heart rate, etc.), and always considered myself to be quite introverted. I would generally avoid large social gatherings or wouldn’t stay very long. However since staring Ritalin, my anxiety has disappeared. I feel a lot more comfortable in social situations and have even found myself looking forward to my work function.

It’s only early days, but the diagnosis and medication has significantly helped me so far. I look forward to finding out what the future will bring.

~ Chris, 43.

 

When I was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult I felt relieved … validated. My world finally made sense. But I also felt grief and frustration as it didn’t seem fair. I couldn’t help but think maybe the mistakes and struggles I had experienced and put my family through, could have been avoided if I had just been diagnosed as a child.

After speaking to my psychiatrist, I started taking Dextroamphetamine, and after I got the dosage right, I noticed amazing improvements. For example, my ability to complete jobs, to pay attention and to stay on task with my uni work and housework improved greatly.

However, now the honeymoon period has ended I’ve fallen back into my old ways, for once again I can’t seem to complete my jobs on time, am handing in assignments late (and receiving marks lower than my perfectionist self is comfortable with), and feel like I’m a burden to my partner. I know this means I have to back up my medication with learnt skills and actions, and more positive feelings and thought patterns, but where to start? It’s frustrating these interventions/immediate supports are not immediately provided when you’re diagnosed with ADHD.

~ Rachel, Not provided.

 

Until approximately 3 years ago I was, as far as I thought, a normal functioning person. 

You know, the type of person that would look you in the eyes and make you think I’m listening to what your saying, whilst my mind actually wandered off without my permission, distracted by anything and everything around me. The sort of person that would find themselves still awake at 3am in anticipation for the coming day: anxious to accomplish something but never really being able to decide what that should be. The type of person that can’t stick with the same type of work for longer than a couple years, however is good at anything they put their mind to (if they could just control their mind). And the type of person that starts a project, then starts another one, then starts another one and then … can’t remember what they were doing.

I also thought everyone wanted to be the centre of attention, in any circumstance, at any cost. ‘Look how much everyone loves me!’ (Despite my over assertiveness and the fact I frequently cut people off or finished their sentences for them). ‘Wow! I hope life stays like this! Why would I change a thing? My life is working in a weird disorganised way and I’m quite happy faking my way through life very successfully’…until:

• The tiredness from not sleeping and trying to keep everything together set in.
• My vision became blurry every time I tried to concentrate.
  
• I began to struggle when talking to friends and family, and when dealing with customers/people.
• My short-term memory started failing me.
  
• I became highly emotional and found myself flying off the handle all the time.

The culprit, unbeknown to me, was undiagnosed ADHD. Luckily I was able to get an appointment with a psychiatrist, who picked up I had the disorder and started me on medication (stimulant treatment). 

Even though it’s been a bit of a roller coaster ride getting used to the not living with the brain fog and accepting I require medication to think more clearly, the medication has really helped me get back on tract and I can now complete my duties without exhausting myself.

So whilst I now know I’m 100% normal for someone with ADHD and accept my diagnosis, I’m not “there” yet. However, I know I’m heading in the right direction. As even though I can sometimes get a bit down about how hard I have to fight to continuously move forward, my wife who has been my rock all through this, thankfully keeps reminding me how far I have come and what I have achieved since my diagnosis.

 ~ Michael, 33.

 

For me, being diagnosed with ADHD as an adult was a giant relief. Gratefully I discovered I wasn’t terrible at ‘adulting.’ And that there was a reason for why I have struggled throughout my life and why I have an unreliable memory.

Taking medication has been life changing. I am finally able to maintain my focus right through to the end of a task, I can see things through to completion without being sidetracked by something else, I can actually do more because I can remember what I am doing and what I have already done, I can complete boring tasks that would normally put me to sleep, and I can clearly see what’s happening around me rather than feeling like I’m in a haze. Unfortunately however, medication hasn’t replaced my need to learn coping skills or strategies for my poor memory. It also hasn’t helped me with cope with the stigma surrounding ADHD and comments like “ADHD as an excuse for my behaviour” or “the medication should have fixed everything.

~ Kendra, 31.

 

Being diagnosed with ADHD at age 24 was a relief for me. I was an unsettled child, didn’t do well at school and found it difficult to be social and ‘fit in’. It was like the missing piece of the jigsaw fell into place. Everything made sense.